The Curious Case of Thump Thump

Over the past few weeks I’ve heard a new sound through the walls of my kitchen ceiling. Unlike the phantom piano I sometimes hear through my fireplace, I cannot, as of yet, identify this new sound. The noises associated with apartment living don’t, for the most part, vex me. This sound? It’s perplexing.

I find myself sitting and listening, all the while listing off possible culprits. It’s become a game, in a way. Sometimes when I hear it, I’ll list the most ludicrous thing it could be, and other times I’m far more technical.

The noise is just so odd! I can’t help but list possible sources.

There’s an increasing tempo throughout the course of its hour to two-hour run. Sometimes there are short breaks in the rhythm. Squeaks and honks accompany the “THUMP thump THUMP thump” rhythm throughout the entire ceiling melody.

Some possible culprits:

  • A small child jumping on a Pogo Ball.
  • A madly skilled tween practicing her Dance Dance Revolution moves.
  • A man of short stature crab-walking back and forth across the floor with suction cups attached to his hands and feet.
  • A family so obsessed with miniature train sets that their entire home is dedicated to an intricate network of tracks and trains. They happily live in a small corner of their condo and take turns sitting in the lone plush chair that resides there.
  • Or, you know, it could be totally boring and be a piece of exercise equipment.
    • A leg warmer clad woman doing her Kegel exercises on an exercise ball. (If this is the case, her pelvic floor probably looks like a slicker version of Schwarzenegger.)
    • A sullen teen male being forced by his parents to play Wii Fit as punishment for staying inside on sunny days to play video games.
    • A chain-smoking Grannie plugging away at her rickety and aged StairMaster 4000 PT.